‘Why fearing?’ Because it hurts
A quick practice update as we head into the heart of the summer — the warm time of year that Jörgen Christiansson has promised will lead to plenty of opening and loosening of my hamstrings and other obstinate body parts.
Aside from my left shoulder aching a bit — I’m going with the head-in-the-sand approach that nothing serious (i.e. torn) could be wrong — I seem in good shape. In particular, my knees — the right especially (which earned a “right knee is broken?” from Tim Miller the last time I was down in San Diego) — feel pretty OK.
Which doesn’t mean I’m pushing any Padmasanas or Janus or Tiryam Muhka. No, I absolutely am still shying away from any full flexion of the knee.
And I do know: “Avoidance is not the answer.”
That’s easy to deal with conceptually. Of course avoiding something isn’t the answer. It will just keep waiting there, never going away. It will have to be faced, sooner or later. So — just get it over with. (Just do it?) And a yoga practice is supposed to help us face those critical moments.
Easier said than done.
For nearly a year and a half, when I’ve gotten to this place and then pushed things with my knee, something’s popped. Never so bad that we’re talking surgery, but enough to hurt and to restrict range of motion again.
Enough to make anything past a very certain point full of fearing.
So here I am. I can continue to be overly mindful (i.e. chicken) or I can try to move ahead as gradually and carefully as possible, knowing that each time I’ve tried that before it has failed. My sense — my instinct, I guess — is that even carefully may be too much.
And I can’t help fearing to find out if this time is any different.
Posted by Steve