8 reasons I’m not thankful for yoga

First off, two things need to be very clear:

  1. I abhor lists like this one. They are the laziest forms of blog posts imaginable, a virtual perversion of the longstanding and lazy staple of magazines that promise the “FIVE fastest ways to a flat belly” etc. I promise I will be punishing myself severely for doing this one.
  2. I realize that on top of that, I’m “trolling” a little — running counter to the flood of what I’m thankful for posts on blogs and Facebook, etc. They already were appearing on Tuesday, if not earlier. And I saw a lot that included “yoga” (because of my list of friends, of course; I’m sure somewhere else on the Facebook people were thankful for their whiskey and guns). So I’ll admit to tweaking the “I love yoga” idea a bit, but at the same time I swear that there is a bit of sincerity in each of the following.

And now that we’re done with that list, on to the the eight reasons I’m not thankful for yoga:

  1. On Thanksgiving, I don’t get to enjoy myself like I should. My diet’s too restricted. I know how much I’ll pay for overindulging. The old, wonderful road of excess just isn’t as much fun anymore. And I blame you, Ashtanga. Heck, this is true through the holidays… and through the rest of the year, too.
  2. I’m constantly faced with my own limitations. Barely able to touch my toes. Inability to quiet the mind. A breath that sounds like its coming from an asthmatic Rhesus monkey. I get enough of my own frailties in my regular old life, let alone in a practice I’m choosing to suffer through / do. I know this all already. Why am I adding insult to injury?
  3. Speaking of injury … my back hurts. Yes, an injury complaint! We’ve all been there, right?
  4. The obvious ones: Getting up early, going to bed early. Life’s no party.
  5. All the positive talk, inspiration quotes, etc. etc. These drive my cynical, sarcastic, ironic self into bouts of cynicism, sarcasm and irony. I just can’t believe life’s that nice and easy. If it were, we wouldn’t need yoga.
  6. That I just wrote “we … need yoga.”
  7. Russell Brand.
  8. And, finally… I can’t just indulge in me. Why am I trying to be a better person? I blame the first couple limbs of Ashtanga.

Posted by Steve

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theconfluencecountdown

Two Ashtangis write about their practice and their teachers.

4 thoughts on “8 reasons I’m not thankful for yoga”

    1. We’ve run photo proof of that in the past.

      Right now, you can’t get a yoga news alert without something about RB — the latest being he’s taking his mother to yoga with him. It’s more the 24-hour coverage of his heading to yoga class than him that’s annoying. I certainly don’t know him — but I may still be skeptical of his becoming a yoga teacher. But I’m probably skeptical about anyone’s becoming a yoga teacher.

      S

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