New Yorker Lampoon: Yoga Teacher Bios

Hat tip on this one to Eddie Stern, who posted it to Facebook. We’ve started getting the New Yorker, again, at home — although it always feels wrong given we’re in Los Angeles, but there’s nothing similar out here, or anywhere, really. I’m still not in the habit of checking it online regularly.

It’s lampooned yoga teacher bios. (Right now it appears to be the most popular piece, so watch out for it to trend.) Here’s just one of a handful:

Mary-Sage Porter

Mary-Sage began her yoga journey at sixteen, while recovering from a groin injury sustained at an Up With People concert. Her SpiritTone™ system, a movement technology that polishes the aura while simultaneously increasing the thigh gap, came to her in a vision after she made the painful personal decision to sneak into the employee bathroom at Bali’s famed Ubud Monkey Forest. Mary-Sage recently got her real-estate license and was called to combine sacred movement and property sales for her popular Yoga for Real Estate class.

Enjoy. I don’t think any of them are based on people we know (although Tulum gets a mentioned) but the composites are familiar.

Posted by Steve

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Two Ashtangis write about their practice and their teachers.

4 thoughts on “New Yorker Lampoon: Yoga Teacher Bios”

  1. Hang on now, is this a joke?! Are these real. Funny yes but jeez… I so struggle with all this new bullshit Yoga. It’s fine, great actually for those who love it. More power to Ya, but can there be a (not really yoga) clause behind these classes so the newbies who want to actually experience YOGA aren’t totally turned off. I don’t know I guess it’s my problem, I just have to get over it but I have a studio in a town where the other studios keep charts on the wall to compete with others in their booty, hip hop, glow yoga. I have Quality they have Quantity. Still I have to admit it really irritates me! 😁

  2. Yuk yuk yuk…this reminds me of Scott Adams when he first started the Dilbert cartoon. He would think of the most ridiculous work situation, make a cartoon out of it, and get responses from readers that he exactly portrayed their workplace. Much of the “yoga” we see today is worthy of ruthless lampooning.

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