What You Do and What You Think You Can’t Do

The change into a new state of being is the result of the fullness of nature unfolding inherent potential.

Yoga Sutras IV.2 (trans. Tim Miller)

“There will be no Fourth Series Teacher Training,” Tim announced (in a definitive voice) during the first days of his Third Series training. So, now that all the trainees have completed our Third Series training, I guess we’ve maxed out.

We try pretty hard here at The Confluence Countdown to keep a more universal tone to our posts–keep it newsy and light and out of the personal. That’s pretty hard as I emerge from the self-centered hothouse that is a yoga teacher training: Ostensibly, we were supposed to be learning to teach Third Series; really, we were learning to do Third Series in the broadest possible sense of doing. That is to say, what to do with it now that we know it.

“Guruji said Third Series was ‘just circus,'” Tim told us; “tricks” the early practitioners called the phenomenal Ashtanga backbending sequence. When he would remind us of this (as he did often), I would hear Steve’s voice in my head. He’d asked me as I was preparing, struggling and sore, “Do you have a good reason to want to learn this?” (or, occasionally, “Why are you doing this?”).

At the time, I was pretty sure I had a good reason. Third Series offers me unprecedented access to the kind of structural muscle strength my degrading joints need. But now the training is done, I find myself wanting a better answer.

The collection of training manuals.
The collection of training manuals.

I probably won’t be teaching my handful of yoga students Third Series any time soon. I won’t be busting out my repertoire of fabulous asanas on Facebook or putting them on display in my local Mysore room; I practice alone. There’s no teacher’s eye to motivate me, and Tim is a hundred miles away and can’t direct that hilarious grunt of disappointment at me when I cheat. So as I forge ahead with the prescription he gave me last week–First with Second one day a week, the rest of the time, Third Series–what’s my reason for doing this?

From the seat where I’m writing this, there is a damselfly lightly hovering around the window looking out on our garden. She’s a fine thing, hardly thicker than a needle, with nearly invisible wings that seem to be made of leaf veins. As she approaches me, she encounters the invisible obstacle of a pane of glass. She taps it gently: Once, twice. Even though she can’t see that barrier, it sends her off in an unintended direction, and she’s gone.

I feel now like a version of that damselfly, save this: The invisible barriers have disappeared, and I’ve been given a chance to fly through them. I learned that possibility is a powerful tool. Certainly, barriers are there. But if you gain a finer sense of your own strength, both mental and physical, what you think you can’t do will transform into a greater understanding of what you do, and why you do it.

On the last day, we studied both the chapter in the Yoga Sutras that contains the words that lead this post, as well as the chapter from the Ramayana where Hanuman, under a curse that he must forget his extraordinary abilities until he is reminded, leaps over the ocean to Lanka to find Sita. “In a sense,” Tim said, “we all possess extraordinary abilities.” Thank you, Tim Miller, for the reminder.

Posted by Bobbie

Third Series Training Begins…at the Beginning

Day Three of Tim Miller’s Third Series Teacher Training has begun, and a collection of some 40 teachers and students of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga have descended on Encinitas to learn about Stihira Bhaga—“Divine Stability.” They have come from all over the world—Germany, Switzerland, England—and all over the U.S.—Nevada, North Carolina, Louisiana—and there are some locals and some Californian, too. It’s a good group.

Some are teachers and shala owners looking to take what they learn back to their students. Some are long-time practitioners looking to learn the series in more detail. Some are students without a shala, stuck on a pose and unable to advance without more knowledge and are here to get it. While our motivations for being here may vary, Tim is in top form and being very meticulous.

Day One began at 6 a.m. with the full, six-part Ashtanga pranayama sequence with what seemed like full-sized inhales, exhales and retentions (these were actually shorter than normal, I was told).

The masterful hands of Tim Miller.

And although the more eager among us may be ready to take off into Third, these first days are a careful review of all the standing poses up to virbradrasana B. To some it may seem like he’s going slowly, but this is my fourth training with Tim, and I have my First Series training book in front of me full of the notes from three other trainings, and he’s actually going quite fast.

He also knows his audience—practitioners who are in deep in Ashtanga asana—and he’s hitting all the aspects of each pose with no dumbing down: counting, anatomy, adjusting, the emotions of the pose, its reasoning, its variations. And then we move on. Yesterday, because he was asked, he ran through the pranayama sequence faster than I’ve ever heard him do before. There are certain assumptions of knowledge, but also an understanding. He is, in other words, passing what he knows on to a new generation of teachers, which is an awesome responsibility on both sides.

For myself, I wait for the stories behind the asanas—their history, the way the changes in the practice came to be, the reasoning behind certain choices Tim has made as a teacher, and of course the stories of the rishis, gods, and heroes of his practice and teaching. Hanuman looms large.

But I’m also here to practice with Tim and my fellow students. I’ve done my rickety interpretation of Third—the series that is saving me from hip replacement surgery—in the Mysore room with some awesome people around me. And today I got my favorite adjustment.

As I came into trikonasna, Tim once again sidled up to put me in my correct place (he’s been working on my trikonasana for years). As he pulled my shoulder firmly but gently back, he stuck out his index finger and tugged at the corner of my mouth to make me smile.

It did.

Posted by Bobbie

On Being Freed in Ashtanga

I’ve written elsewhere on the politics of holding Ashtanga students at certain postures until they “master” them. In the years since I wrote that piece, I’ve been approached by a lot of students frustrated in their practice, with their teachers, with themselves, or all of the above.

There’s a whole teacher/student power dynamic out there that I don’t agree with—as a teacher myself, I try to be as transparent as possible with my students, and let them see the benefits and reasoning behind my teaching. I’m not saying that opaque teaching is a deliberate practice in Ashtanga; more often than not, I think it’s more like neglect that happens when a teacher has too many students. But whatever the cause, the result is the same for the student: The pose they’re “stopped” at gets fetishized, that pose is nearly personified as a thing to fear and hate, and the rest of the series is closed to them. The concept of the yoga mala is lost, a series of just-poses strung on the breath for a reason, as if you cannot achieve the full benefit of the practice if you cannot “do” a pose to its fullest extent. The individuality of the student’s intimate relationship with the practice is lost as well.

These conversations with my fellow Ashtanga students (and Ashtanga teachers) remind me how lucky I am to have Tim Miller as a teacher. Because Tim allowed me to practice Second Series, he freed me from chronic pain and brought mental and physical balance back to my life.

Tim Miller and Bobbie
Tim Miller and Bobbie. Photo by Michelle Haymoz.

That miracle continues. I didn’t start Ashtanga when I was young. I’m not athletic. I wasn’t even physically healthy. And past traumas in my life made me jumpy, unfocused, suspicious, and intensely private. I saw my future in the bent, broken, sick, and profoundly unhappy women in my family. It was Ashtanga that gave me a way out, allowed me to learn enough trust and find enough openness to accept myself, and to love Steve, my fellow blogger and emotional savior.

Why are you telling me this, Bobbie? you’re asking. Once again, I’d like to make a plea to the teachers out there to reconsider the student in front of them, to think about the reasons why you’re not teaching the series, whatever it is, and to set them free.

Ashtanga is an esoteric form. If you’re reading this blog, and got this far in this post, you know this. You understand just how esoteric it is every time you have to explain what you do to someone who has only a gym- or media-level understanding of yoga. Probably you don’t try. While that can make Ashtanga seem very clubby and cliquey, I feel like it has a very different effect. It makes it feel more like a form of private meditation, something that really doesn’t need to be described.

The announcement that Tim was going to be offering a Third Series Teacher Training came at the precise moment when I’d reached a sort of fat-and-happy meditative moment in the practice. His Second Series training came with all sorts of meta-physical benefits I hadn’t foreseen, a kind of mental house cleaning that I eventually saw as the real reason for Second Series, a house-cleaning that was made possible by being liberated from pain. That simply would not have happened had Tim seen my kapotasana as something I couldn’t do, as other teachers had done, instead of seeing it as something I could get benefit from as part of a larger practice.

So I was happy. I had a First and Second Series home practice. But I started to notice more of the symptoms of the joint degeneration I’d been living with for nearly two decades. My elbows and hips began to occasionally give out. Arthritis has crept into my hands and feet. I began to sense the need for something more, something stable and strengthening. And then. . .Tim Miller announces a Third Series Teacher Training. Ah well. So much for fat-and-happy.

Maria's good humor shining through. Via rateyourburn.com
Maria’s good humor shining through. Via rateyourburn.com

Back when my practice consisted—for years and years—of First and Second up to kapotasana, I approached Tim for help. I don’t have a regular teacher. I’m in pain. He welcomed me to his Second Series Teacher Training with love and good humor: “You come,” he said. And it was Maria Zavala, his student, who got me ready so I could get the most out of that two weeks in Encinitas with Tim. The entire endeavor was, basically, so Maria could pass along to me everything she’d learned about Second from Tim so I could understand what Tim was teaching—to remove the prestige and make it real, tangible. It was Maria who absorbed all the silly questions, Maria who brushed aside all the “this is impossible” moments, all the complaining: Maria, and through her, Tim. So here we are again. I’ve been accepted into Tim’s Third Series training, and Maria is once again getting me ready.

Maria has spent the last few months patiently leading me through the asana jungle that is Third (jangali kayamane), removing the mystery (again), shining light where there is darkness. Man, I can tell you I never thought I’d be looing in there, in that particular dark place, Third. But Maria’s energy and curiosity, her enthusiasm and good humor, have kept me going until I can see Third as a Series. Of poses. With very real benefits. So much of it seems so gleefully impossible. Years ago I wrote that Tim Miller’s great strength as a guru is that he shows you a way through the Impossible to the Possible. He never assumes he only knows what you can’t do; instead, he works with what you can do, and he looks for a route so you get to the heart of the pose, extract the maximum benefit. Maria has learned this from him: This is the way she was taught. This is the way she is teaching.

And this is what we discussed yesterday, as I fell into a puddle of sweat and laughter, after failing utterly to do a pose. It’s good, she says, to not to be able to do something, again. To be free to fail, so you can continue to improve. It’s a familiar feeling, familiar from the long journey from the first time you ever tried to do five surya namasaskara A followed by five surya namasara B. “Holy crap,” I remember thinking, “Are we done yet?”—No, as it turns out: You’ve just begun. And you will begin again, many times.

Posted by Bobbie

Giving thanks, and things to read

Here’s perhaps a new way to think about the Thanksgiving holiday: “the most Jupiterian of all holidays, always falling on a Thursday.”

That, if you’re an astute reader, you realize is from Tim Miller, who knows some about the heavens (and gurus). The holiday and the practice of Ashtanga further conflate:

Thanks Giving gives us the key to activating Jupiter’s power—we express our gratitude for what we receive both materially and spiritually and this keeps the flow of Grace showering down upon us from the heavens.  When we practice yoga, tradition dictates that we always begin by taking a moment to offer our gratitude to all of the Gurus who have come before us and to humbly ask for their assistance in our ongoing journey:

Surely you know what comes next?

You’ll have to read Tim’s post (I’ve given you two chances now) to find out what he’s grateful for this year. It just might surprise you. (I’m officially skeptical of the very thing for which he is grateful; I guess one isn’t always 100% in line with the guru.)

I also feel compelled to mention something you’ve probably already seen. Eddie Stern has created a new Facebook page — I guess he maxed out on the number of friends for his personal page — and he’s been posting a lot of terrific stuff, much of it directly related to Guruji. An example:

Guruji on the perfection of yoga: “The ancient rishis of India said the practice of yoga takes as long to master as it takes for you to empty the oceans by a dipping a stick into them and trying to take a little water out.”(NYC, 2005) Sounds to me like a perfect recipe for surrendering all efforts!

If you haven’t already liked it, you can go right here and do so. And if you want to like our Facebook page, you can do so here (while I’m on the topic). We’re also on that Twitter thing.

Anyway, Happy (early) Thanksgiving. I’m sure we’ll get something up on the holiday, but still… for those ahead of us as the world turns, we’re getting close to the holiday.

Posted by Steve

Why you should care about Vedic astrology and a new Second Series DVD

Tim Miller, you may have noticed if you’ve followed his blog postings, focuses frequently on the skies.

There’s a reason, and he explains it this week:

It’s not that I have this vast knowledge of the subject that I feel compelled to share with the world, but rather that it is something I find to be endlessly fascinating, and something I am always trying to learn more about.  When I began practicing yoga 36 years ago I started to notice an ebb and flow of energy on a daily basis—the same practice done on different days was a very different experience.  Sometimes the energy felt Sattvic (harmonious), other times Rajasic (stirred up), and other times Tamasic (dull).  This waxing and waning of energy didn’t seem to necessarily have anything to do with the amount of sleep I got, the purity of my diet, or the general state of my relationships—it seemed to have its own agenda.  In an attempt to try to understand this phenomenon I began to look into astrology.  I believe that we live in an intelligent universe where there are many dynamic, yet invisible forces acting upon us at all times.

You’ll have to click on the link above to find out all the reason. It does include some lines from Patanjali, although not the now famous “No fatties” sutra.

For those who are lucky enough to fall under the Sattvic stars, David Garrigues’ new DVD on Second Series might be right up your astrological alley. From the description:

Practice it and extend your breathing capacity, effect an energetic awakening that helps you access buddhi, the reflective, discerning, higher intelligence faculty of your mind. Become fit for dhyana, meditation, contemplative poise that yields dynamism, radiant health and Self knowledge. May we all continue to grow in Bhakti and Jnana.


A traditional 1hr and 30 minute counted vinyasa method live class …

Once again, you’ll have to click the link to find out what the class includes.

Posted by Steve


Bid for a chance to study with Richard Freeman at his 5-Day Essentials Immersion

A few weeks back we mentioned that Richard Freeman has a five-day immersion class coming up early next year.

Wouldn’t you know it, it filled up. Surprise!

But there’s still a chance.

You can bid for a spot as part of the seventh annual Shambhala Sun Foundation auction. Details right here and the opening bid is at $300. It has a value of $500 — so that’s a deal right now.

If you need it, here’s a reminder of what the Essentials course is all about:

This 5-day intensive will help to fill in some of these gaps. In the morning sessions we will ground our study with an in depth exploration of the internal patterns of breath and alignment found in the Primary Series of the Ashtanga Vinyasa system. In the afternoons there will be an introduction to Sanskrit chanting, an introduction to the internal pleasures of pranayama and a comprehensive overview of the foundational philosophies which form the context for yoga practice. We will read and discuss the Kena and the Katha Upanishads, selections from the Yoga Sutras and then learn to appreciate the plurality of approaches to yoga through an introduction to the Bhagavad Gita.


And another reminder (we’re full of them today): Registration for next summer’s month-long training at the Yoga Workshop is Wednesday.

And because we’re talking donations, I should note that this month, Tim Miller is donating all the proceeds from his Monday night donation-only Intro to Ashtanga class at the Ashtanga Yoga Center — if you’re down San Diego way.


Posted by Steve


Jois Yoga Encinitas scales back practice hours; just what is the Ashtanga lineage

Jois Yoga Encinitas has just announced a little scale-back to its practice hours.

The morning Mysore, which was six hours, is now five. And the afternoon Mysore, which was three hours and 45 minutes, is down to three and a half hours. And off the schedule for now is Aimee Echo, who is in Mysore. Small changes, indeed.

I figure it is worth noting because this has all the hallmarks of being the root of a wild rumor that would expand into … well, why even suggest it in case someone reads it wrongly.

I do note that the studio there has Mysore practice on Saturdays (these, too, have been trimmed back). I’ll admit to being a little surprised given the traditions surrounding the practice.

Speaking of those traditions, while we were busy working on our Derek Ireland post yesterday, David Garrigues had a guest post up about the Ashtanga lineage. From the piece by Suzanne Faulkner:

Statements such as this one from a blog about mysore style ashtanga yoga, concerning the idea of being a direct part of the lineage….

” I clearly favor the traditional lineage and Sharath Jois but others have found great love for other teachers such as Richard Freeman or Tim Miller.”
the word BUT…. I would ask people studying with Sharath to use the word AND.

This statement somehow, or perhaps directly infers, with the BUT, that to study under Richard Freeman or Tim Miller is to study outside of the traditional lineage. My heart quickens, I feel threatened, undervalued. How could it be okay to have students of Richard and Tim, Nancy, David, David, Christine, David etc… be considered students that are choosing to be not in favor of the traditional lineage of Ashtanga! We are in favor of the traditional lineage of ashtanga yoga, in fact, we ARE the traditional lineage of ashtanga yoga. We are, at the very least, an aspect of the direct lineage!

I saw this one getting shared on Facebook on Wednesday. I’ll just say that this issue of lineage isn’t one we are too worked up about currently. We understand why others are. I think back to something Eddie Stern said at the first Confluence, and which I hope I don’t butcher too much in recalling. Here’s how Bobbie captured it one time:

Eddie Stern said something like this at the Confluence—that it was a remarkable thing that with no formal bureaucracy, no system of distribution or middle management or committees, or even, really a “central authority” that called itself such, the teachings of Sri K. Pattabhi Jois spread with such consistency, and always accompanied with such passion for teaching more.

I think that reflects pretty well our attitude toward the practice’s spread. But Suzanne’s piece is well worth reading, as issues of the lineage still are with us.

Finally, the first of a promised two-parter on Navaratri / Dasara celebrations in Mysore from Tim Miller.

Posted by Steve


How Derek Ireland got introduced to Ashtanga

I promise I will get to the story of how Derek Ireland got introduced to Ashtanga.

Just indulge me for a second as I try to explain how we have this story.

One of the benefits for us — and none of us do anything that has “no benefit,” right? — in starting this blog is the confluence of people with whom we have had the chance to connect. (We now say as much on our “About” page.) There are the many Ashtanga practitioners who have commented here or just emailed us (or sent us messages on Facebook). There are the “virtual” friends we’ve gained, people like Robbie Norris and Peg Mulqueen. There are the teachers we’ve ended up having some sort of unexpected relationship with, probably most notably David Garrigues.

And then there are the deeper relationships that have developed. At the center of it is Eddie Stern, who basically told us “You go” when we were wondering and waffling about our Yatra via Namarupa. Talk about proof that you should trust the “teacher”.  (Although, to be fair and honest, Tim Miller remains, for us, the Teacher.)

On our Yatra, we met and traveled with a host of interesting and wonderful people. From the Ashtanga teacher world there was Kate O’Donnell and Barry Silver; there were many others — the list would make an already too long preamble of epic length.

And there was both Robert Moses and Radhakunda Das. (I promise we are almost to the Derek Ireland story.)

Since the Yatra, we’ve kept in touch with Robert (and helped edit the last Namarupa issue); frequently, Eddie is on the emails, as well.

These conversations, without giving anything private away, range from mind-expanding to side-splitting. And often, something comes up, some tidbit or insight, that leave Bobbie and I just sort of amazed to be a part of the discussion.

This happened to an extreme last week. (We’re now to the Derek Ireland story.)

After we posted a link to Tim’s blog, recounting his time in New York and dinner party with Krishna Das, Eddie Stern and Leslie Kaminoff, Robert sent an email to Eddie, Leslie and me. In it, Robert noted that, while Leslie had recounted that Derek Ireland and his partner Radha used to come take classes with Leslie in the ’70s at the Los Angeles Sivananda center and that Derek “was introduced to ashtanga yoga in a shvitz by Norman Allen in the 80s”; it actually had been Robert who first introduced Derek to Ashtanga at the Sivananda retreat in the Bahamas.

Robert’s email was very polite and friendly, as was Leslie’s response. It so happens that Leslie was out in San Diego this past weekend, and had dinner on Saturday night with Tim. Tim — to whom I’d sent an email on this, per Robert’s request — mentioned it to us when we saw him Sunday.

All well and good. Then, last night, I got an email from Leslie saying I could post any part of his reply to Robert. How could I not take that opportunity? And then he also sent along the pictures included below.

Here is a bit from Leslie to Robert:

I also didn’t recall that you had returned to the Retreat (Bahamas) after being transferred to the Ranch (Catskills), so I assumed Derek’s first exposure was in NYC, where we did indeed encounter Norman and Tridham Das practicing in the svitz.  Derek did not let on that he had seen astanga before, and he seemed quite surprised actually – but then again, who wouldn’t have been – seeing those 2 jumping around in the 200+ degree heat.  Of course, Derek had to join in.  As for myself, I went and jumped into the ice plunge.
I actually practiced Primary Series in my East 7th Street apartment every morning for a month in late 1985.  It was with a student of David Williams (a beautiful woman from Hawaii who was also a circus performer – can’t remember her name, tho).  I had to stop when my pre-surgical-torn-cartilage knees gave out.
I guess all I can claim credit for was persuading Derek and Radha to make the trek from Lemon Grove to Paradise Island to do TTC, and suggesting that they trade their fancy sound system for tuition because of how broke they were at the time.  Kudos for you for signing off on that deal.
They were both still on P.I. when I was there in June 1987, staying down the beach at Capt. Turner’s place for my honeymoon with my first wife Roberta (see photo below, taken on the famous tennis court).  I believe that’s the last time I saw him.  What a shock and loss when he passed.  He was one of the most accident-prone people I’d ever met, yet he survived all his mishaps (including the accidental self-immolation via exploding camp stove), so I guess I thought he could survive anything.

And the pictures to help set the scene: Derek and Radha (apparently right where Robert first showed him Ashtanga); the ice plunge; the Turkish baths.




There you have a little insight into one famous Ashtangi’s introduction to the practice.

Posted by Steve

Video: A day with Norman Allen

Norman Allen, one of the first if not the first American to study with Pattabhi Jois, has popped up in our posts recently. Sort of all of a sudden.

We heard a number of tales involving him during our Yatra. There’s plenty more if you want to go searching. On that search, I came across the following video. Enjoy:

Can anyone confirm if that is former NBA star David Robinson at about the 3:30 mark? I can find that he did Bikram, so it is possible.

We are planning to get down to Tim Miller’s today for his Led Primary. We’ll see if it all works out, and I’m sure we’ll report back on it.

Posted by Steve

Get Introduced to Ashtanga by Tim Miller

I’ve often called my teacher Tim Miller “the hardest working man in Ashtanga.”  In addition to teaching expansive two-hour classes—often twice in a row—and arriving early for pranayama every morning before Mysore practice, and performing the Hanuman Chalisa between classes on Tuesday, and having regular concerts on moon days, he also travels frequently, doing weekend workshops all over the country. I’ve often thought this is really his work-around to get in teaching on Saturdays.

Tim, teaching, as usual.
Tim, teaching, as usual.

When I’ve done Tim’s teacher trainings at his home base in Encinitas, one of the things he encourages trainees to do is sit in and observe other classes. By far, my favorite class to observe is his Intro to Ashtanga. I broke that class down in great detail a couple of summers ago (that post is here). I go back and read my notes on that class whenever I’m working with a student new to yoga. It was a great experience.

So I was once again amazed when the AYC sent out an email yesterday saying that this class will now be by donation (as we noted earlier), in the form of “The Box.” From the email announcement:

The Box was in use for many years as the ‘honor system cash register’ at the Ashtanga Yoga Center. It will be put to use in the same capacity for the Monday Intro class.

That’s right. You can be introduced to Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga by master teacher Tim Miller. Every Monday at 5:30. For whatever you can afford.

Posted by Bobbie